WTF is Wrong with People?

I think we entered a wormhole or something similar because that is the only way to explain how the day passed so quickly, yet with so little accomplished. It was also a day that made me wonder whether it wouldn’t be better if the zombies did take over the world.

Exhibit A

We saw this sticker on the car next to us when we picked up my car at the dealership today.

Fat chicks sticker



This sticker was on a shitty Honda that looked like it could barely hold the driver let alone anyone else regardless of weight. I was astounded that someone had the audacity to put such a sticker on his or her car. Really??? In what world or circumstance would anyone possibly think that sticker was funny or acceptable? Substitute “fat” with “black” or “gay,” and I wonder if he or she would have had any scruples preventing him or her from not putting the sticker on the car. Wow.  Oh, and Jimmy told me later that the bumper of the car had a sticker of fingers making the “shocker.” Clearly we are dealing with a classy individual. And no, I’m not explaining what the “shocker” is. You’ll have to look it up!

Exhibit B

Today was the day we set aside for finishing our insurance open enrollment. We were both already in less than stellar moods going into it because open enrollment is always. such. fun. This year was going to be even more fun because Jimmy’s company was switching plans, and we needed to figure out whether it made sense for him and Daniel to stay on the new plan or move to mine which was also making changes. Yay insurance!

My insurance was offering major discounts off of the monthly premium if I completed a health assessment among other things, so I opened it up to fill it out because it would keep me at the same level of plan and save me $13 a month.  This was the third question:

do you plan to reproduce question

Second WTF moment


Um…what? I get that this is a health assessment and I’m sure they wanted to assign me a “risk” level based on whether I was going to be having a baby in the next year (higher risk!), but wow, that question put me in a foul mood. I didn’t even know how to answer it since at least 2 answers fit my situation. It felt invasive and insulting. All this to save a damn $15 a month. I’ve decided that next year it isn’t worth it for me to save that money. Damn.


However, Daniel is always good for lifting our moods and making us laugh. A few Danielisms from today:

“I’ve learned about God and mammals” – what Daniel says he’s learned in school.

“Mommy, stop saying bad things to daddy” – what he says to me if I become slightly animated during conversation.

“Mommy, I pressed the ‘X’ for ‘cancel’ on this conversation”- what he said when my conversation bored him.

“Mommy, I think I have too much energy” – said after he became bored with quiet time and demanded to be liberated.

Maybe the zombies can stay put for a bit longer. Or maybe we’ll just make sure our house is fortified. Everyone else, you’re on your own.

Treading Water Badly

There is this thing called a “Super Bowl” tonight.  Apparently, large numbers of huge men in tight pants and ginormous shoulder pads form two teams and run, touch and jump on each other, ostensibly seeking a brown oval ball. This behavior goes on for hours.  In the middle of the game, there will be a performance; it typically sucks. When there is a pause in the action, attention shifts to the commercials, which are supposed to be funny but usually end up being too try-hard.  And then we all gather around the water cooler at work the next day to recap it.  I wonder what the aliens will think of this lame behavior.  Fun fact: sports were invented to channel male energy in lieu of battles and wars. Socially-sanctioned fighting is cool!

Usually we watch the Super Bowl so we can feel culturally relevant.  I hate football.  What a slow, irritating game!  Give me hockey or basketball any day.  This year since we don’t have cable, we aren’t watching the game.  I couldn’t tell you who is playing although I do know that Beyonce, queen of the world, is performing at halftime.  And Twitter is keeping me informed.  As for us, we’ll be watching Downton Abbey and we might even finish the season because the season 3 DVD arrived last week.

Y’all, last week was rough.  Crazy busy at work.  Nights flying by as if they were minutes long.  Poor Daniel has a nasty abrasion on his neck due to a playground collision and then threw up 10 times on Friday.  Thankfully it looks like his tummy trouble was due to congestion and not the flu.  I woke up on Saturday with a nasty migraine – the second Saturday in a row.  I’m really sensitive to changes in barometric pressure; nice to know my head could be part of the NWS spotter program.  Jimmy has had headaches as well.  The tummy trouble upended any plans we had for the weekend, and we feel like we finally hit our stride today.  And now it’s time to go to bed and prepare for the soul-crushing reality that is Monday.  At least we all had much-needed hair cuts.  I swear I think I lost weight from having my mane chopped.

May this week give us a chance to breathe.