foolishness

Blather On (Kind of like Ramble On without the LOTR References)

In which I blather or babble or talk about nothing at all (much like Seinfeld.  A high school classmate once told me that I reminded him of the characters on that show, and at first I was flattered (since at the time it was a huge hit and considered a cultural touchstone and funny) but later I wondered if it were actually an insult since the characters are quite shallow and narcissistic.

  • Life has been a little out of control lately, one of those times in which thing after thing goes wrong and you begin to wonder what deity you offended and ponder researching karma cleansing.  We went to Asheville for our honeymoon in December 2001, and on our way to Chimney Rock, we passed a small house (more of a shack really) that advertised tarot readings and roadside colonics.  I wonder if that place is still there?
  • I’ve been trying to write a post for over a week, but the spirit does not move and I wonder if I will ever complete it or if it will remain forever in purgatory.  And if I do finish it, will it be worth reading or will it be a piece of pretentious crap?  You all don’t want to read yet another post inspired by Breaking Bad, do you?
  • I’ve been in class since Monday, and it’s been frustrating and I’ve been taking out my frustration on Twitter.  It’s a market intelligence class focused around teaching us how to perform that service for clients.  In theory, I’m hot and bothered to do that.  I’ve wanted to do more market research for years and thoroughly enjoyed my research classes.  I’m hoping to become a practitioner for work.  In reality, the class is excruciating.  I could teach this class.  Hell, my cats could teach this class.  The class does not need to be 3 days, and we are learning cutting-edge topics like how to use Wikipedia as a “smart pill;” how to conduct an interview; the pros and cons of contacting people via email or phone.  And the instructors read the slides.  If you have been following my tweets about the class, thank you for indulging me.
  • I’ve been reading Gone Girl  since Sunday. By the time I post this, I might have finished it (was able to sneak in a few chapters during class; multi-tasking you know!).  What a bizarre book about two people who are almost completely unlikeable and therefore well-suited to each other.
  • It’s October.  I love October.  Fall energizes me, and I can almost feel the energy pulsing through my veins.  The downside is that the year picks up speed as we approach the end of the year, and there is not enough time to do anything.  I bought mums in September that are still not planted and living in containers on my porch.  I need to find a Halloween costume for Daniel.  I need to get out my Halloween village.  It’s only October 3, but I already feel behind.  I did swap out some of Daniel’s books for books on Autumn and Halloween.  That may be as good as it gets this year.  Oh, in case you missed it, Dresden coined the phrase “Tree Porn,” and that’s porn we can all love.
  • Lightning took out our coffee maker and cable box on Saturday.  Our kitchen is now filled with the sounds of non-stop Thomas DVDs and a jittery lack of caffeine.  Farewell, unwatched recorded episodes of Through the Wormhole.  Adieu, Tuesday night Chopped marathons. On the other hand, no more Guy Fieri and Diners, Drive-ins and Dives!
  • I was mortified to discover that I have been using “utilize” incorrectly. However, I wonder if it is correct in this context: I utilized “utilize” in a sentence to have some meta grammar fun. No?
  • We took Daniel to a Day Out with Thomas two weeks ago, and we had a great time.  It was a much better experience than last year because a) he was a year older and b) it wasn’t raining.  He loved riding on two trains, including a beloved caboose.  It was little boy heaven.
  • I tweeted and posted to FB this amazing article about infertility, but if you haven’t read it, please do.

OK.  I’ve wasted enough of  your time with this blather.  Here are a few pics from a Day Out with Thomas:

Daddy and Daniel

 

Mommy and Daniel on the caboose

 

Tell me something good or odd in your world right now!

Friday Foolishness: Going Out of Town (Again)

This week has been very “meh.”  I can’t find the motivation for much, including blogging because really, why am I so narcissistic to think it matters?  That’s when I see through the facade of condescendingly insisting that I blog for me and acknowledge that I like to be read (and when did that become a bad thing?). I know I post something like this every week, but the truth is that I’m in a funk.  I’m frustrated because it’s almost halfway through the year, and I haven’t accomplished much in any area.  My house is a mess.  I’m a mess. And when I think about trying to put words together that could possibly be worth anything, my harsh inner critic (she’s a real bitch) scoffs and brings me back down to earth: what could I possibly say about anything that matters?

I could get all soap-boxy because heaven knows, there is a lot of absurdity out there about which I could rant, but I don’t want to be “Oh there goes KeAnne getting all ranty again.”  That’s why I didn’t write anything about the Time breastfeeding/mom enough challenge cover.  I subscribe to Time (apparently one of the few since that seems to be the conclusion for why the magazine did the cover).  The dastardly issue is sitting in my magazine basket right now, and I’ll finally get to read it on the plane on Sunday.

I think that my lack of reaction to the cover (kudos to Time for having the balls to use such an asinine challenge on its cover) is that my particular route to motherhood already makes me concede that no, I’m not mom enough.  I can’t even participate in that conversation when I outsourced the carrying of my child.  Or, perhaps, I could conclude that yes, I AM mom enough because I wanted to be a mother so much that I outsourced it when my own equipment didn’t work.  But that’s stupid and not worth even asserting.

I think the likely reason I sort of shrugged was because the older I get, the more I feel that I am not <anything> enough. I’m comfortably mediocre.  There’s always going to be someone who does more, is better, is smarter, is prettier, is harder working, is funnier, is ballsier, is nicer, is more successful, is a better wife, is a better mother, is a better friend.  There can only be one superlative.  Everything else is just a fruitless comparison.  So I shrug although I do wonder how we let a style of parenting primarily advocated by a man dictate how we mother.

We’ve been dealing with our first daycare virus the last few days, and it is a doozy.  I won’t go into the details, but let’s just say that it is explosive…everything.  From everywhere.  Think HazMat suit or gas mask needed at least. And hours spent stripping beds and washing everything.  It’s so much fun, yet I feel like it’s a rite of passage and I now belong;  I am officially a daycare parent.

I’m flying to Orlando (again) on Sunday for another conference.  I’m getting the shakes just thinking about it after my last trip, so if  you could send up a little prayer to the travel deities, I’d appreciate it.  I’m excited to present at the conference because I feel like it’s my first real conference.  It’s not that the last conference didn’t count, but it was for a particular group.  Kind of like if  you sell Tupperware and attend a conference thrown by Tupperware.  This conference is for a professional society, and I submitted a session idea and was accepted.  It will be the first time I present on my Master’s Paper research, so it’s like my first big girl conference (And yes, I acknowledge that I spent the first three paragraphs of this post whining about how I haven’t accomplished anything this year. I own my hypocrisy.).  On the other hand, it’s a conference for engineers (blows a kiss at Mannlymama, who received her engineering degrees from my place of employment), so I feel a tad bit nervous about what to expect.  I’m also attending with three other coworkers and to be honest, they aren’t my favorites.  I’m hoping that I’ll be able to, um, not see them through the throng of attendees.

Lastly I leave you with the below picture taken by coworkers on their way to an event near Burlington.  I promise you it is not doctored in any way.  Before I offended JJ by insinuating she was old, she corroborated its existence by telling me she saw it many times during her college years.  Apparently in NC, we have no problem legislating hate, but we permit obscenity and poor spelling on our signage.  Oh well.  It gave me a good chuckle when I saw it, and I hope it gives you one too.

I love North Carolina

How has your week been?

Friday (and now Saturday) Foolishness

It’s Friday and I can barely construct a coherent sentence at this point, and I feel like rambling about some things that caught my attention this week.

Angelina Jolie

You might be astonished to know that I have a girl crush on Angelina Jolie (no judgment!) and after her right leg developed a mind of its own at the Academy Awards, I wrote a silly little letter to her. I’m not sure why I wrote it at BlogHer instead of here, but it might amuse you. Or make you think less of me.

Libraries

On this week’s Roundup at Stirrup Queens, Mel posted a link to an article on Little Libraries, and I LOVE that idea!  Instead of a lemonade stand in the summer time, I envision Daniel and I setting up a tiny library by our mailbox.  I can share with the neighborhood my love for historical romance and Da Vinci Code knock-offs bought for 50 cents from the annual library book sale.

I juxtapose that article with an essay I read by Leon Wieseltier on the inefficiency, yet beauty of having a large, messy personal library.  To paraphrase Lord of the Rings, my books are my friends, and I suspect Wieseltier feels the same way.  I recently had to box up a lot of books and agonized over which I had to say goodbye albeit temporarily and which had the privilege of staying.  My books are double stacked on my shelves.  It’s messy, but yes, beautiful to me (not so much to Jimmy).

In the Kitchen with Preschoolers

I mentioned in my review of Bringing up Bebe that one idea that resonated with me was the idea that small children of capable of doing more than we give them credit for.  Along those lines, I read an article in Slate on cooking with preschoolers in which the author details how she cooks with her 3-year-old.  It turns out there are cookbooks devoted to helping small children learn their way around the kitchen!  I’ve vowed that we will make the yogurt cake mentioned in Druckerman’s book this weekend.  Wish us (me?) luck.

Great Posts

I’ve read a lot of great stuff this week, but two posts I read yesterday stuck with me:

  • Beth Anne at The Heir to Blair wrote about her thoughts post-Blissdom and realizing that while it’s not happening the way she thought it would, everything is coming together for her and she’s going to own it.  I was struck by her post because of how epiphanies are amazing at changing how you see things, especially your life.  I also liked it because I contrast it to where I am now and how I am feeling: I need that epiphany
  • Law Momma at Spilled Milk (and Other Atrocities) wrote a beautiful post about the death of her dear friend.  She used to wake up every morning to a text from her friend and wonders if she can keep texting her friend.  I loved it because we’re having similar thoughts in our house not 2 months after the death of Jimmy’s grandmother.  Almost nightly he comments, “I wanted to pick up the phone and call Mum…” and we still include her on emails we send of pictures of Daniel.

Other Randomness

  • I realized that my oldest pair of shoes is 12 years old.  They are Doc Martens that I bought in 2000 for a work trip to Memphis.  I love those shoes but they are heavy and huge and make my size 10 feet look even larger. That’s ok though.
  • I found an awesome conference on blogs and social media that’s in Ireland this year.  How did I not know about this conference last year when I was writing my Master’s paper on social media usage among manufacturers?  Probably because I was writing my Master’s paper on social media usage among manufacturers.  New goal:  present or at least attend this conference one day.
  • We quit preschool last week and I toured a day care yesterday.  More on that to come next week.
  • Great article from Paul Ford in Slate on his and his wife’s attempt to figure out what to do with their leftover frozen embryos

How was your week?