The Beautiful 312

Celebratory cognac after positive beta

Beta day was September 27, a Saturday.  For the previous two weeks I had seesawed between hope, optimism, despair and conviction that the cycle had failed.  J and I knew we would try again–at least one more time–before moving on, but I knew that a negative on our blood test would hurt like hell and mean more waiting.  And when you have been at this for 3 years, a good bit of that time has been spent waiting, and the last thing you want to do is more waiting. 

That morning we got up and drank our coffee on our back porch while waiting for the phone call from the clinic.  We figured it would be early afternoon, so we distracted ourselves by somewhat histrionically going through the songs on our iPhones and assigning songs as ringtones to friends and family members.  I still chuckle when I think of some of the ones we picked.

The call came around 1pm.  And it was positive.  “Beta is 312,” the nurse told us.  A very decent beta number based on what I had read.  After getting off the phone with the nurse, F called and we congratulated each other.  She sent me pics of the positive pregnancy tests and told me that she had been testing positive since about 7 days past transfer.  J and I just looked at each other in shock.  It was positive!!!!  Something had worked!  We had never heard those words before. 

Next thing I knew, J brought in the bottle of Remy Martin cognac that had been sitting in our bar for years.  It was very good cognac and there was only a little left…J had sipped on it for years.  We had decided to save the rest of it for a special occasion, but there hadn’t been one.  However, here it was now.  I hadn’t cried yet, but I almost cried when I saw the bottle and the glasses because of the symbolism.  THIS was our special occasion.  Even though it was barely afternoon, we each had a very healthy snifter of the cognac.  Hey, it was a special day!    We called our family and then decided to get out of the house to celebrate by going to the local outlet mall (yes we lead thrilling lives).  Everything seemed so surreal.  I confess that I was ecstatic for about 5 minutes before worry over the next beta, two days later, set in.  That would be the true test for me b/c the next beta would indicate if our numbers were increasing properly.

But September 27 was a wonderful day.