It’s a Cold Moon

“The moon is a friend for the lonesome to talk to”

Carl Sandburg

Tonight or rather yesterday is the final full moon of 2022, but one of the things that makes this moon so special is that it will still appear to be full Thursday. And it’s appropriate that in a month that celebrates juxtapositions and extremes such as beginnings and endings, longests and shortests, birth and death, loneliness and love, this moon will be visible longer than it might otherwise be due to the sun setting earlier.

It has been fascinating this year to learn about how each monthly full moon has a name and was given a meaning. And I admit to taking joy in seeing the moon in various places and significance this year: over the ocean at the beach, in an eclipse at 5:30 AM, the end of my driveway just now. There was something about the finality of 2022’s full moon that I needed to witness.

This moon is called the “Cold Moon” and the Mohicans called it the “Long Night Moon”. I like that. It wasn’t exactly cold or even cool when I went outside, but it was quiet. It was breezy. I could imagine early humans looking up at the sky in wonder and marveling at what magic this was that made the moon increase in fullness over the course of a month and then appear to disappear. It doesn’t take much of a mental leap to see how they concluded offerings needed to made to bring back the moon and from there, religion takes shape.

Astrologically there is a meaning to this moon too. It takes place in Gemini (ruled by Mercury) and symbolizes receiving information – could be a simple answer or resource that comes at the right time or a perspective you had not considered. Full moons are culminations, completions and endings and letting go, which all sounds quite appropriate for this time of year. And sometimes like holidays themselves, there is a feeling of bittersweetness about so much sturm and drang, preparation, giddiness, excitement, and then…it’s over. At the same time, Mars retrograde is here and since it takes place in Gemini, it could be unexpectedly easy to feel tense, anxious and say harsh words. Try to fight the urge to do too much. I know I myself have experienced these feelings this week and owe a few apologies and have a need for more rest.

Maybe I’m feeling overly introspective and possibly maudlin (probably just tired and worn out myself), but I feel the year creeping towards its end. There is a darkness about the holidays that we choose to overlook. There’s a huge amount of forced levity and merriment and almost a threat to be happy or else and by god, you better be happy for your blessings. And the other side of that is fatigue and exhaustion. It’s hard being the sole Magic Maker. It’s hard trying to keep all the plates spinning. And it’s hard trying to have nice things for yourself when the tree is half decorated and the cat keeps climbing it and everyone at work is just as surly and tired as you are and what the fuck is for dinner.

It’s hard when the holidays come on the heels of Deathiversary and all you really want to do is stay in bed with the covers pulled over your head (but don’t forget to wash the sheets and comforter!). I’m feeling some endings acutely and some beginnings coming faster than I might like or prefer.

I am grateful for all of my blessings. I’ll have my pity party here and make magic and sing carols through the neighborhood. And I’ll enjoy it.

And hopefully I’ll find a little magic of my own and return refreshed like the new moon.

…But even when the moon looks like it’s waning, it’s never actually changing shape. Don’t ever forget that.

Ai Yazawa

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