Leaving on a Jet Plane

I’m getting ready to go out of town for work next week. I’m leaving Monday afternoon to fly to Nashville for a work conference, and I’ll return late Thursday night.  My brain is working non-stop and my anxiety level is high.  It’s a similar experience to when I was preparing for surgery in September, but I think I’m more anxious this time.  Daniel’s schedule is more complicated this week and it’s more complicated for a longer period of time: we have two days of hot lunch supplied by school and two days of lunch packed by us.  Snack to be packed every day.  A field trip to the nearby fire station on Tuesday.  Plus, he is the Star of the Week next week, so each day he is able to bring an item for show and tell as well as a cuddly for quiet time.  On Tuesday, his grandmother is coming to read to the class.  Oh, and I bet we’ll have homework on Monday.

It just feels like so much to keep track of, and I’m trying to get everything sorted and organized for Jimmy so he can handle it effortlessly.  It’s not that I worry about his ability to do it; it’s more that there is so much to keep track of. And this is only Pre-K!

Tomorrow we’ll make the morning snacks for the week as well as the lunches for Monday and Thursday.  I won’t think about what they’ll eat each night for dinner; Jimmy assures me that he can handle that easily. And I need to pack. And figure out what time my flight leaves on Monday. And gather my technology and its related chargers and plugs as well as the last 4 issues of Time magazine I haven’t read.  I’m sure I’ll forget something.

I booked this conference several months ago, so it shouldn’t come as a surprise but here it is! And it is a surprise. All of the thoughts in my brain feel like popcorn popping or marbles ricocheting. I never knew that juggling was a required core competency of parenting, especially when you are a working parent.

But then Monday night, I’ll be settled in my hotel room. No stories to read. No tantrums to manage. No nightly routine to orchestrate.  I’ll feel guilty but free at the same time.  I might work out. I might watch crappy TV. I might read a book. I might play on Twitter. I can do what I want!!!

Half of my heart will be at home, wishing I were dealing with the normal nightly routine while the other half will enjoy the silence.

Oh, and by the way? Daniel’s letter of the week next week is “F.” We’re already thinking of the “F” words for his homework LOL.

You have to laugh, right?

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4 comments

  1. When I am in the middle of a less formidable (f-word) situation, I (f-word) fantasize about something similar to what you are going to do: navigate the airport alone, stop and drink a coffee at a temperature and speed other than scalding (f-word) fast (otherwise the crazed bunnies will create mischief somewhere while I blink), read a book not aloud and when I (f-word) finish one page, I just turn it and go on, not start it all over again. All this while in real life I try to diffuse little overexcited minds and bodies that need winding down and (f-word) finally go to sleep. I used to not (f-word) fathom how a mum would actively want to NOT spend every minute with her children. I was a (f-word) fool. By the way, it sounds like that pre-k D goes to is truly honing the officer in you, you’ll have marines shivering at the sound of your voice when D goes to school.

    Of course you will enjoy your silence, just as you will miss you family something (f-word) fierce. But then, it will all go away in a bat of an eyelid, as everything else (f-word) flies these days, and you will be back home and get to unmiss everything you missed while you were away.

    I used to apologise for dissing parts of the motherhood experience, until I (f-word) figured out that those who would blame me would not understand what I mean, no matter how much I explained. Those who have been through or still are at this stage of life are less inclined to judge. And this is the apology for not apologising for what I said. Motherhood is (f-word) fantastic, in every sense.

    Have a quiet drink for me. Maybe a chocolate as well, but without (f-word) feeling guilty for not saving it for a smaller mouth. That I can do very well on my own, thank you, more often than I should even.

  2. I get it. We’re prepping for an upcoming anniversary trip and leaving Dylan with my mom. It’s a lot more planning than travel before kid. All the little things. I’m sure the boys will do well. Enjoy your quiet time! Get out a little if it’s possible – Nashville is such a cool city.

  3. I know the feeling – I’m the primary caregiver for our 9 month old fur baby (not exactly the same, but still) and going away for work is very freeing. But I do miss them when I’m not there . My last work trip was in June and I’m enjoying being home 🙂 have fun!!!!

  4. Safe travels! I know how mixed it feels to be away … stressful because you DO feel responsible for the preparation, freeing because you COULD do anything, and lonely because your heart is at home. I’ve never been to Nashville, but I hope you enjoy it. And just wanted to say I’m enjoying the daily read, too! 🙂 I’m going to try to write daily this month too …

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