The (Unintentionally) Inappropriate
Daniel, to himself, as he puts on his pants: That’s not the right hole.
Me: That’s a life lesson.
Daniel, at story time: Mommy, I want to get in you
(He means he wants my arms around him, but my eyebrows raise & I snicker like a 13-year-old boy every time he says it)
Daniel, after dropping a starfish in the car: Mommy, get that for me.
Me: I can’t; I’m driving.
Daniel: Oh, I think you can.
Me: Can you share your water with Elly (the starfish)?
Daniel: No. I will not share with Elly.
Me: Would you share your water with me?
Daniel: No. I will share with myself. I’m not sharing with anyone.
Me, during tuck time: Can I have one more hug and kiss?
Daniel, rolling over: I’ve already given you one.
Daniel: Elly and Henry (two of his starfish) are best friends.
Me: Who is your best friend, Daniel?
Daniel: You are, mommy. You’re my best friend.
Me: unable to respond because I’m a puddle on the floor.