We Are the 39 Percent

Amendment One passed on Tuesday.  Hate and discrimination have been voted into the NC Constitution. I know that this amendment will not have a long life and we have lost the battle but not the war, but I am so disappointed.  Yes, I admit that internally I am calling those who voted for it without fully educating themselves on what the amendment would do nasty names, but overall, I just feel disappointed.

It was naive, but based on what I saw on Twitter on Facebook, I thought the amendment had a decent chance of failing.  I hoped that my fellow citizens who have a innate cultural disdain for the government telling them what to do would vote accordingly.

I was wrong, and I am disappointed.

I’m disappointed that my state felt the need to waste time and money on amendment that outlaws something that was already illegal.

I’m disappointed that conservatives sneaked the amendment into the primary, knowing and counting on turnout to be low.  This amendment was not voted on by the state’s entire electorate but by a small percentage.

I’m disappointed that conservatives are making marriage an issue in the 2012 election, trying to ensure that voters will vote against Obama because of their feelings on it instead of on economic policies when our nation is in a genuine economic crisis.

I’m disappointed that politicians and voters continue to fail to consider unintended consequences of dangerous, poorly-worded legislation.

I’m disappointed that I have to defend my state and its citizens against comments such as “North Carolignorance” and “I thought all the Northern transplants would override the state’s ignorant natives.”  I’m a native North Carolinian and proud of it, and there are many of us who voted against the amendment for a variety of reasons and while I’m ashamed and angry at what the state has done, I also must defend it, myself and others like me.  It’s a weird position to be in.

We’ve told people that we don’t care if Daniel is gay, and the response is always a gasp followed by “You don’t mean that!”  We do.  We don’t go around hoping he is, but the point is that we don’t care.  It’s not an issue to us.  Truly.  Our hope for him is that he finds love and if that love is for a man, woman or hermaphrodite, we don’t care.  Those voting for Amendment One are correct in that marriage is sacred.  I believe it is sacred.  It is sacred because it is two people coming together and pledging their lives to a larger union.   What does gender or sexuality have to do with that?

Here are reactions from other North Carolinians to the passage of Amendment One:

If you come across more posts, please send them to me so I can add them.  I want to curate them.


  1. I so know how you feel. The day Obama was elected prop 8 passed in California and it cast a long, dark shadow on that day. My partner and I were going to get married then but after Prop 8 defined marriage in California in such a discriminatory way, we decided we don’t want to enter into that institution and it makes me so sad. I was robbed of the ability to get married at the time and in the way I wanted. I can’t imagine if I had been robbed of the right completely. I have never been more disappointed in my state as I was that day. And I have less and less hope that it will be overturned since the Supreme will ultimately determine its fate.

    Anyway, I’m sorry. I know how you feel. So disappointing.

  2. I am really sorry about what happened in NC. i live in Iowa and I am FIERCELY protective of our freedom to marry whomever we want! Technically, gay marriage should go to a vote in Iowa too, but given the radicals in my state, I am OK with it not going to a vote at all. If it went to a vote – our constitution would be ammended as well.

    I totally understand your comment about not caring if Daniel is gay. Like you, I don’t wish or hope it on him, but if he is – he simply is. Who cares!? What I care about is that he’s my son and that I love him and will always love him. And if he ends up being gay, then I hope he lives in a state like Iowa that allows him to marry whomever he chooses to be his life partner – just like his dad and I did!

  3. I’m so sorry. All I know about North Carolina is that you and Kristen live there, and you guys are so awesome that this was a shock to me. Of course, out here in California, we also had Gay Marriage struck down, as Esperanza noted. It made such a big difference to people’s lives, Esperanza included: she and Mi.Veda are the REAL Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt: people who legally could get married but don’t to protest the injustice. I can’t tell you how much I admire her for that…

    1. I am still amazed that Prop 8 passed in California. NC has done so many progressive things, so I have that the state will be known for this.

  4. I’m always amazed that issues like same sex marriage and abortion are even still debated in the states, Canada passed a law in 2005 redefining marriage to be a union between 2 people, there were minor discussions here and there, but nothing big, the law passed and it really hasn’t been revisited, its just beyond my mind that it is still an issue in the US, i really think if someone attempted to bring it up the media would be all over the politician crying fowl and demanding they get back to the real issues. Being gay is celebrated in Toronto, everyone shows up for the huge gay pride parade, and it’s an honor to be in it, politicians, chief of police, families all line up to wave the flags and celebrate inclusion. I just want my kids to be happy, gay, straight, doesn’t matter to me.

    do you think it’s just a simple distraction from the real issues, like the economy or that people die because hey don’t have access to health care, or that American health care is the most costly in the world?

    I just see it as so sad that the real problems are ignored, while conservatives keep beating the drum of their wild ideas.

    1. I think part of it is that conservatives feel threatened by the passage of gay marriage in other states as well as the growing acceptance. I think a huge part is distracting voters from the real issues.

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