Lazy Friend

I don’t think I’ve made it a secret that 2011 has not been a very good year for my family: death, cancer, job worries, serious pet health issues and now two months of illness for me and J.  As a matter of fact, I returned to Urgent Care this afternoon to receive a second round of antibiotics for the sinus infection that will not quit as well as the chirpy advice that maybe it’s also seasonal allergies, something from which I’ve never suffered so severely.  I roll my eyes at the suggestion, but I probably shouldn’t because nothing has been normal this year.  Why not seasonal allergies???

There have been other losses this year.  BFF Katie up and moved to Florida in May.  I could resent the hell out of that move since she went from living 15 minutes away to a zillion hours away, but after being apart from her husband and being the sole caregiver of her daughter for 9 months, I was happy to see the family reunited.  But still, Florida!!!  I hope that they return in a few years, and in the meantime, we have blogs, emails and texts to keep up with each other (because I think we both share a mutual hatred of the phone).

And then today, I received some awful news at work.  Kimberly, my work BFF, my fellow prisoner in the next cell, informed me she was leaving the organization in two weeks.  I was shocked and devastated and sad, yet not really surprised.  Sometimes intuition works for me, and I had – if not been expecting that announcement – prepared myself for the possibility.

Kimberly joined the organization almost 5 years ago.  I was privileged to be on the hiring committee, and I liked her right away. I had no idea that when Ivoted to hire her that she would become one of my closest friends.  I wrote recently about her style, but there is so much more I admire about her.  Have you ever met someone who seems so your opposite but you admired that about them?  That’s how I felt. I am straight-laced.  Kimberly’s a rebel. Her appearance seems effortless and chic while I felt that I could work for hours and still look haphazard.  Thoughtwise, when I zigged, she zagged.  She was just different, and I loved that!  We also bonded because we both come from messy families, and it is so necessary to have others around you who understand that family dynamics aren’t always roses and sunshine. 

A few months ago, she moved into the office next to mine, and it was great!  Yeah, we may have Skyped instead of walking the three feet to our offices, but that’s ok. And now she’s leaving 😦  I am very happy for her and wish her nothing but success.  I also hope we can keep in touch.

That keeping in touch part is what I’m worried about.  See, I kind of suck at that, which comes as a surprise since I always feel lonely and on the fringe.  I probably wouldn’t consider myself a good friend.  There.  I said it.

I don’t like the phone.  I prefer emailing or texting or tweeting even.  And I wonder what that says about me.  Why didn’t I see Katie more when she lived 15 minutes away?  Why weren’t we inseparable?  And now, I read her posts about the new friends she’s making, and I feel jealous, yet it’s my fault for not taking advantage of the opportunities we had.

BFF Amber, if you’re reading this, I’ve received your emails.  I’ve thought of a thousand replies, but I haven’t managed to email you yet.  I suck.  It would take 2 minutes to reply.  Argh.  Replies coming soon. It’s nothing you’ve done.

I moan about not having more mommy friends with whom to have play dates for Daniel, yet I have email addresses for two, and I’ve never emailed them.  WHY NOT???? Excuses, excuses.  I’m such a coward.  No, I’m lazy.

To my friends, I apologize for being a lazy friend.  I hope to be a better friend in the future.


  1. I’ll miss you most of all, Scarecrow! I have so loved working with you, learning from you and even though we may be opposites, I think we saw eye-to-eye most of the time. I opted to move my office next to you, because I wanted you to rub off on me! I enjoy your ‘creature of habit’ attributes – it’s nice to have a little consistency in life and you helped fill that void. I could never think of you as lazy, at anything! Life is crazy and we even though we have the best intentions, sometimes it just slips. True friends don’t let those things hinder a friendship. So no worries, just know I’ll continue to read your posts and skype you as if you were still next door.

  2. Aw! This was so sweet. It’s hard to say goodbye to friends 😦

    I HATE the phone. To the point where it damages friendships. I just can’t deal with it for some reason. Of course, in high school, my parents could never get me OFF the phone. I think tweeting and blogging have replaced the phone?

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