An Open Letter to My Cats

SW, Lucy and Bit

Dear precious, fluffy, anxious, Type A  kitties,

I love you.

But there is poo in the hallway.

I cannot blame you completely for your uncouth manners when we have neglected your litter boxes more than once.  I get it.  I know you like a clean litter box in which to do your business.  I would too!  But…

But sometimes you prefer the hallway to your litterboxes even when they are pristine.  That really pisses me off because I will feed you and there will be no poo and then I will return later, and there will be a fresh, steaming pile.

Kitty cats, we are all trying our best here.  I know that being the creatures of habit you are, you haven’t quite recovered from three moves in 8 years.  I know that the installation of the hardwoods into three bedrooms and the necessary shifting of furniture over a 6 month period from December 2008 – May 2009 was a further major shock because you lost the cozy nooks that you had sought out for yourselves in the guest bedroom which suddenly wasn’t the guest bedroom any longer and why the hell was the bedroom furniture in the living room?

Bit, our first-born kitty

And I know that your delicate and aging sensibilities were dealt a shocking blow with the birth and arrival home of Daniel in June 2009.  Just what was that tiny, crying creature?  We could see your brains trying to figure out what he was and what his arrival meant to you.

Yes, he was loud.  No, he didn’t sleep a lot.  Yes, we realize that now he  likes to chase you and play with your tails.  Yes, we try to prevent him from pulling ears, whiskers or delicate tails.  No, he’s not going anywhere, and he is quite fond of all three of you.

Precious kitties.  Precious Bit, SW and Lucy, we realize that you are getting older, and it makes us sad.  You were are babies for many, many years, and now our babies are not just growing up but also getting older.  I can’t remember the exact calculation, but you are 14 and 12 respectively.  That might mean you are our age or closer to our grandparents’ ages.  Your ears are graying along with our hair.  You are crotchety.

But kitties, we try to do our best for you.  We dutifully feed you at (almost) the exact times three times a day.  We hire a pet sitter for you when we go out of town for even one night.  We administer pills, change foods, and feed  you all in different locations.  We clean up copious amounts of cat vomit and sometimes have the delightful experienceof stepping in it with bare feet. It’s not easy and sometimes I require a document in order to keep everyone’s needs straight.

So maybe you could throw us a bone?  Maybe you could attempt to fold laundry? I know it will be hard without opposible thumbs, but surely there have been other cases of thumbless-laundry folding.  Or do dishes?  Or perhaps simply come and cuddle with me when you can?

You were our first babies, and we love you despite the poo in the hall.  It is duly noted, and it would be awesome if you could clean it up.


Your Cat Mommy


One comment

  1. I just love this and know exactly where you are coming from. I miss my Cat (Miss Agatha Bagwash aka Pissy Woo) but by ‘eck I don’t miss her welcoming messages in the morning! Found you through NaBloPoMo!

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