Juxtapositions

Weirdness is creating your baby registry with one hand while you have a glass of wine in the other. Sort of mind blowing really! I know that I wrote in one of my first posts that I didn’t necessarily want to be lauded for being “pregnant” or at least “expecting” and being able to drink a glass of wine. However, I would be fooling myself if I didn’t say that it was nice to be able to have a glass of wine or whatever πŸ˜‰ I think of it as turning lemons into lemonade. J shocked one of his coworkers b/c his coworker knew only that we were expecting but not the entire circumstances, and he asked J if he felt bad coming home and having a glass of vodka or scotch around me. J replied, “heck no! She ties one on with me” and enjoyed his coworkers look of discomfiture. Ah, the little things πŸ™‚

We’re 26.5 weeks as I write this, and we are getting really, really excited. Tomorrow J plans to begin ripping carpet out of WB’s room so we can beging the flooring process (please don’t take 2 months!). I’m feeling a little stressed overall because 1) that’s my primary state and 2) I’m trying to take control of my new responsibilities at work at the same time as I am trying to get things in a position to function effortlessly without me while I’m on leave. I have about 12 weeks. Panic!

Last night we actually had dinner out in a restaurant together. Surprisingly, while we eat a fair amount of takeout (probably 1-2 times a week), we don’t eat in a restaurant very much. I think that last night was the first time we have eaten out by ourselves since transfer day (9/13/08). Anyway, we had a late dinner at a little Italian restaurant a few minutes down the road from us, and while we were waiting, we saw a family with a tiny baby boy. We asked the father how old he was as they were leaving, and he told us 3 weeks. J and I were enraptured. He was so sweet and tiny in his little sleeper. It was amazing seeing a baby close in size to what we will have in a few short months. It gave us something to visualize, and I don’t think we stopped grinning the entire night. It is starting to become very real that we will (most likely) have a tiny baby at home with us in about 3 months.

I’ve started seriously looking into daycare recently. Before WB became a reality, I used to feel that daycare was sort of no big deal. Well, let me rephrase that. I always tried to empathize with my friends with babies and how it felt to leave your baby at daycare, worries about their care, the cost, etc. But until I started imagining MY sweet, tiny boy in daycare, it was never all that real to me. I visited a highly-rated daycare with fabulously low weekly price near us a few weeks ago, and I left a little underwhelmed. Granted, I visited at 4:45pm on a Friday and had a quick tour, but I vowed to look at other places as well since I had no idea of what a good daycare should look like. I still haven’t made it by to visit other centers, but after perusing the DHHS website with avid concentration, I believe that I have narrowed my choices to very few. I was appalled at some of the complaints and license violations listed for various centers. I am a pragmatist, and it didn’t bother me too much if a center had failed to keep a lid on some substance (obviously not right in front of a child but in general), but it did bother me when there were allegations that a child had been left unattended or that equipment was either unsuitable or downright dangerous. Or that staff hadn’t had the required medical or criminal clearances. I mean, after all, I’m going to leave my precious boy with someone else for several hours a day. I want to feel like they have his well-being foremost in mind. After reading the downright frightening official reviews of some of these “good” places, I narrowed down our choices to 2-3.

The first place I visited was back at the top of my list b/c some of the things other centers had been docked for, I recalled this center having in place. And honestly, you can’t beat its price. It is three stars and ridiculously inexpensive. It has great reviews on my community message board. The main downside is it is a few minutes from my house. Would it be better to have WB in a center close to home or close to work? If close to work, I could visit him at lunch or whenever I wanted. Where will his pediatricians be? These are still questions I am working out. The other center is four stars and about 5-10 minutes away from work. It sounds great and has great enrichment opportunities available for when he is older, but it is much more expensive…about $350 more a month. And J and I would need to have an “interview” ASAP in order to be added to the waitlist for September. I feel torn. I’m on the waiting list for the less-expensive center close to home, and part of me feels that maybe we should try it out and see what we think. If we are unhappy with it, we could always switch him to somewhere else later on. It’s hard because I am trying to figure out how much credence to give to word-of-mouth vs. the DHHS reviews. Any center could have one disgruntled parent.

The daycare issue is hard. At least for several months, it is simply not possible for me to stay home with WB full time. Let’s just say that surrogacy and its related costs do not come cheap. It would be nice to be able to have a clean slate again. Plus, I enjoy work. I enjoy the challenges and opportunities my new position offers me. I am easily bored. But I’ve felt protective of WB since he was an 8-celled embryo and I almost cried over the thought of him in someone else, and the protectiveness is only increasing. I want to make sure he’s in the best situation possible, but at the same time, I recognize that J and I are at risk for great indulgence due to how long we waited for him. Oh well. We’ll figure it out.

In other news, the second of the baby boys joining my family was born this week. Baby J was a decent size and has blond hair from what I understand. It really will be fun to get all the baby boys together later this year! The next one is due in early May we think, and if WB comes in late May and if my cousin goes late, it’s possible they will be born pretty close together. That would be fun!

Hopefully I’ll be posting pictures of the demolished baby’s room soon. That would be a HUGE step forward.

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2 comments

  1. I feel your pain. We haven’t found any place we feel comfortable with either. Adam’s parents are keeping Stinky now, but that’s up in April. It is hard!

  2. Don’t limit yourself to daycare centers. We use an in home day care and I wouldn’t trade her for the world. She loves our kids as if they were her own and I love the amount of personal attention they receive.

    Becoming a new parent is so darn overwhelming. It’s hard leaving your little one in someone else’s care, but it does get better.

    Looking forward to seeing pics of the baby’s room, but don’t stress if Jimmy doesn’t get it ready in time for the baby. Isaac is almost 4months old and he has never slept in his room. lol. I’ve been spoiling him and snuggling with him most nights. We do hope to move him over soon.

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