Panic, BRU and Reflection

Voila!  Floors installed!

Voila! Floors installed!

Whew! Busy few weeks. I had started a post I intended to upload last Tuesday because last Tuesday was not only my MIL’s birthday but also the day we could say “4 months until baby!” One thing led to another and then I found that I hadn’t posted anything at all. Something tells me that is only going to increase, especially once WB arrives.

Here we are on the cusp of 24 weeks, and I am marvelling at where we are. 24 weeks! Wow. And then panic starts to set in because we’ve got a lot to do. We received the first document from the attorney that will start the PBO (pre-birth order) process. And it only took 2 weeks to obtain said document! We’ve already asked what we can do to speed the process along. I like this firm, but they can be a tad slow which is frustrating when you are working on a timeline. While drafting our contract, it was impatience on our parts. This time it is our baby’s due date.

My mother and stepfather came up last weekend, and I arranged for my mother to meet F. It went well thankfully. I was nervous, but I think F was more nervous. She had nothing to fear–after all, she is pregnant with my mother’s grandbaby! We had a good time though. J and I are still thinking about the logistics of the delivery room and the hospital, but it was important to me that my mother meet F at some point. F is really showing, and she looked adorable. She said that WB moves all the time, and she has started being able to feel movement from the outside, but the baby was closer to her back while we were together so I wasn’t able to feel his kicks yet. Soon hopefully!

My mother and I also journeyed to Babies R Us (BRU) which was overwhelming to say the least. J and I are going on Tuesday to check out stuff just the two of us…sort of a rite of passage for us. It was good to go with my mother. We were both amazed by how much stuff was there. I have been there, if not many, at least several times before to buy shower gifts, but it is a whole new world in there especially when you are shopping or at least thinking about your child. I had tried to avoid BRU as much as possible over the last few years, so it was a little bizarre to be there. For my mother it was only the second time ever that she had stepped foot in the door, and it was amusing for her to tell me how little choice she had when I was a baby compared to the big box baby store. My friend K has offered to go with me again next weekend, and I’m really looking forward to getting a recent mother’s perspective on various items.

WB has 4 outfits now. Friend J gave him his first adorable outfit, and I was amazed at how tiny it was. Will we really have a being so small? My mother bought two outfits and then bought another on Saturday, so he has a wardrobe of 4 items. I’m sure that will be enough LOL. I did experience a moment of panic while in BRU with my mother. We were looking at baby clothes, and they are so adorable, and I just felt so superstitious and overwhelmed that we were even thinking about a layette. Thankfully the panic was milder than it has been. Sometimes I wonder if the panic will ever stop or if it will morph into general anxiety about his well-being as he grows. I hope not.

J is making progress on the floors. The actual floor in the first room is complete. He needs only to paint and install the baseboards. It is our hope that he will have completed the first room by this weekend so we can move on to the all-important nursery. I give J a lot of crap about the floors and tease him, but as I told friend K today, those floors are a symbol for us. We started dealing with the infertility crap almost immediately after moving into the house and while there was a lot we wanted to do, we didn’t have the energy, desire or money for three long years. So installing the beautiful Brazilian Koa in the bedrooms of our house is not only a statement of our taste but also and primarily an expression of our hope. We began this project only after our cycle with F had progressed to hopeful ultrasounds. We want to install these floors to express how happy we are that WB is joining our family and how much he is wanted. He deserves something beautiful and special, and this project embodies our hope for our family.

J ordered WB’s nursery set today. I am so excited for it to come! Granted, we won’t be able to do anything for it for a while, but I think it will make me smile knowing it is in the house.

One comment

  1. I had the exact same experience in BRU. My mom and I went and I about had a panic attack. It is so overwhelming! And my mom said the same thing–that there wasn’t much choice when i was a baby. I ended up having a friend take me back later to show me what I really needed–and that was so helpful.

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