reflections

Where’d You Go, 2013???

I’m in my last full week of vacation before returning to work. I have coworkers who will return to work on Thursday. I still have several days left to go but at the same time, my time off has passed in a blur.  Each day filled with a hum of activity, yet a lot of nothing out of the ordinary as well. I’m not even sure I could tell you how we spent each day, mundane though they might have been. It’s just a blur of meals, cooking show reruns, and whatever we had scheduled that day.

And that perfectly describes 2013. Somehow we’ve made it through 365 days and, to put it colloquially, shit happened, but at the same time, it happened so quickly that I barely had time to lift my head up and reflect.

2013 was a roller coaster of work drama (low), Listen to Your Mother (high), and Daniel starting Pre-K at his new school (one of those sickening highs that thrills you and leaves you with your stomach in your throat). We went to the beach twice, which was much needed and some of my favorite memories of the year. And I spent way too much time in meetings, a major low. Overall, though, the pace of the year was so fast that I don’t even know if I could describe it as bad or good. It just was.

So, yeah, this is my obligatory 2013 farewell post only I’m not sure exactly what I’m saying farewell to. I don’t want to make any resolutions because that seems destined to fail. I’d like to set goals but we’ll see. I honestly haven’t had a chance to reflect upon any but hey, I’ll give it a try.

What I’d like for 2014 is calm. I know I cannot control my environment but I can control how I react to it, so this is a personal goal I suppose. I want to figure out how to obtain a more zen-like focus. There’s a lot of shit in my day-to-day life that just. doesn’t. matter. Truly. I need more teflon and less fly paper.

I need meaningful change. I can think of a few areas in which change would be a good thing, and I want to pursue it.

I want more books! I think I read more books this year than I’ve read since Daniel was born. Probably at least 30. I honestly cannot remember. I want to read more in 2014, and I plan to keep track of my “to-read” list as well as my “completed” list here. I’m an eclectic reader, so consider yourself warned 😉

I want more family activities. Daniel is at a great age, and it’s wonderful to be able to do so many things that were…challenging…when he was younger. We made a good start with Friday Family Fun Night (pizza and a movie), but I want us to to more places and get out of the house. There are so many places and activities that he can appreciate and participate in now. Along with that, Jimmy and I need to leave the house more when we have a child-free night as well as look into babysitters. A few hours apart is good for sanity, no?

2013 wasn’t bad. We have our health, jobs, housing, spoiled kitties and frankly whatever we need or want. There were a few dark nights of the soul related to work, which in some ways is pathetic when you think about it. Shouldn’t existential crises be saved for more important matters?

So 2014, be kind. I’m 36 years old. I’d like to think I have a measure of control over my life, but I know that might be an illusion.  My little boy will start kindergarten in 2014. My little boy. No matter what each year since 2009 has brought, I’m so blessed and grateful to be able to include him in my thoughts and plans for each upcoming year.

So maybe, maybe, 2014, help me make this year be a great one for him. Because then it will be a great one for us.

Happy New Year and Happy 2014. I’ll raise a glass although I seriously doubt it will be anywhere near midnight 😉